No-one should have to suffer bullying, yet many people do. Studies show it’s a growing issue that has a negative impact on people’s careers, lives and wellbeing. 47% of UK workers have observed bullying at work, while one in ten have experienced being bullied in the workplace.
Unsurprisingly, therefore, mentoring nowadays has a key role to play within businesses, in order to help with challenging behaviours, and to create a more inclusive workforce.
This month I caught up with an ex-colleague who told me of a work situation she found herself in. She had shown a new team member the ropes, explained the protocol regarding breaks, lunches etc. and then left the invigilator room where school children were taking exams. All seemed well. That same afternoon the new team member proceeded to completely ignore everything she had been shown – including leaving the child she was invigilating alone in the exam room, which created various issues, including a delay in finishing the exam.
Turning the tables?
When asked about her whereabouts the new team member turned to my friend, pointed her index finger at her face, leaned towards her and said: ‘I’ve worked with people like you before. I know your type. You are a bully, and I am not putting up with this approach. I am going to report you.’ Which she did.
Is this reverse bullying? Or simply an unfortunate and entitled work character trait?
Despite CCTV footage clearly showing the new team member leaving the exam room; and the subsequent aggressive exchange, the workplace solution was only to offer mediation. My friend left, as did three colleagues in her team that very same week.
The point of this story is that coercive behaviour in the workplace begins somewhere and if not stopped, grows into unbearable situations for employees; chipping away at confidence and psychological safety with micro aggressions.
Bullying traits at work include;
- Regular criticism that is unfair or non-constructive
- Insults, name-calling, or offensive jokes
- Public humiliation or ridicule
- Taking credit for another’s work
- Deliberately setting someone up to fail
- Spreading lies or misinformation about someone’s performance
- Being excluded from meetings or team communications and socials
- Micromanagement & Excessive Control
Threats & intimidation
These behaviours occur repeatedly (not a one-time event) and are often targeted at the same individual(s) over time
Management who seek mentorship learn leadership skills that encourage quick intervention alongside awareness skills to pick up on coercive behaviours. This aligns with the ABM core competency Awareness of self, mentee and environment. In the example above the manager should have kicked off a warning or disciplinary process, yet many managers are fearful of these procedures. I believe this was the case.
A mentoring culture promotes inclusive, happy, productive work environments because of the encouragement of skills such as listening, as well as curiosity, which promotes inclusion and respect.
Mentoring sessions also provide safe confidential spaces for mentees to air frustrations and guidance on how to deal with situations as they arise.
The workplace brings an array of frustrations and jubilations. It’s very natural for us to deal with things in different ways which can cause conflict. That reflects the fact we are all human beings with our own unique personalities.
