Being an introvert at work often involves misunderstandings, and frustrating interactions arising from assumptions about how we prefer to operate. But if you’re in a work environment where you’re not getting recognition as a quiet person, there are still steps you can take to be noticed while staying true to yourself.
Know your value
The first step is to know what you add. A quiet and powerful confidence comes from being comfortable with yourself, and not trying to be someone you’re not – it’s a confidence that doesn’t try too hard, and which is happy in its own skin. Interestingly, the quiet leader’s strengths include exactly this; you know what you don’t know and are happy to invite input from others, which means that your decisions are well-rounded and can be made with decisiveness. The more you stop worrying about how you come across, the more this inherent ability will shine through. All organisations need more of this type of confidence, and the humility and self-awareness that drives it, and the introvert is at their best when they can be themselves and not worry about how much or how little – or when – they speak. Proudly owning the strengths that your introversion brings also enables others to see you in that light.
Know yourself
Self-awareness also means knowing your working preferences. If you’re an introvert that prefers to reflect on a topic before a meeting, make sure your diary includes thinking time. If you need to recharge after long discussions, book in a short walk afterwards. Taking control of the environment around you will feel better than being at the mercy of other people’s preferences, and helps you feel calmer, which means you perform better. Depending on your position in the company you might have varying degrees of control of your calendar, but everyone can make small adjustments that improve the time to prepare and digest (and if you run your own company you’re in a great position to organise your week in a way that enables peak performance for yourself and others).
State what you need
Taking control of your environment also means sharing with others how you prefer to operate. Most introverts prefer to prepare ahead of time, so if you hate it when your team just pops in with a question, tell them that you want them to approach you, but that you need some time to think before you provide an answer. It is possible to move quickly and make speedy decisions and also reflect deeply, but you need to make sure you have the information you need to make a decision – so tell your team what those points are up front. Likewise, if a team member asks you for a meeting and you’re unclear on the meeting purpose, explain that it’s more efficient for everyone if the agenda is provided up front, and that it helps you to know how to prioritise your time. Remember that up to 50% of the population are introverts, so the things you need are probably also the secret preferences of many around you. By being clear about what your introversion means in practice, you can also help more junior introverts.
Be yourself
Part of feeling calm and in control is to operate authentically. You may have been given well-meaning advice earlier in your career to behave more like an extrovert, but this only serves to make you overly focused on the act of speaking when you should be listening (another quiet leader strength). Being yourself will enable you to contribute in ways that feel natural; trust that this is enough.
Explain to others
Most introverts prefer to introduce a pause between listening and speaking. Don’t apologise for wanting it – others will understand you better and can accommodate your preferences. It also helps if you say what’s happening internally; explain that just because you’re not saying anything doesn’t mean there’s nothing going on – your activity is just currently on the inside. Examples statements include: “I’ve listened to you all, and I think that…,” “I’m comparing what was said before and….” If you feel put on the spot, you can ask for more time while still contributing, e.g. “I prefer more time to think, but here’s where my head is right now” or “My gut feel is….” Introverts have the ability to jump ahead because we’ve thought through implications of decisions while others were talking, so if you only share your conclusion, they might not understand your logic. It’s therefore useful to explain your thought process, which helps bring others along with you.
Understand others
The introvert has a high commitment to accuracy, but not everyone does (and it might not always be needed). If it makes you feel better, caveat your statements (“I need to fact-check this, but…”). Also know that extroverts talk in order to process their thoughts, but introverts think first – which makes it easier to see that the statements extroverts make aren’t necessarily facts, and therefore can be contradicted without upset.
Being an introvert doesn’t mean being silent. Use wisely your moments to talk, be intentional, and be comfortable with your approach – others will see what you add. We’re not the same as extroverts – not better or worse, just different – but the end result is better when we’re all listened to and everyone’s skills are used.
